3 Weeks Old

Three weeks have gone by! Despite the compounding tiredness I feel from not getting solid sleep, the days have gone by so quickly! Or perhaps because of the little sleep, the days have gone by quickly. I go to bed early and sleep late–as early and as late as Daniel will let me, that is. A few days ago, I didn’t actually get up for the day until 1pm, then I went to bed at 9pm.

Friends and family have been great. We’ve been given meals, people have gone grocery shopping for us, and Dan’s parents have been coming over nearly every day to let me take a nap or to do my dishes or to finish a load of laundry. I didn’t realize how absolutely down and out I’d be. I thought I’d put the baby in the sling, and we’d go about our business. But he’s too floppy to be in the sling without a lot of support, and because of all my stitches, I’ve been unable to really be up and doing things anyway.

I haven’t slept for more than 2 1/2 hours at a time for over 3 weeks, now. I feel like I did when I was in college trying to finish up papers and study for finals and working 3 or 4 part-time jobs, except that now I sit around the house all day with people doing my housework while my baby sucks on my breast.

Today I got out of the house, which felt great. I went to the bank and spent a large part of the day at my in-laws’ house. I wrote most of my thank-you cards, and am now getting ready to go to bed (it’s only 8:15, but the baby’s asleep). I am looking forward to the next few weeks as we get more into a rhythm.

People tell me to cherish this time while the baby is small, but I am really looking forward to him being able to interact with us and sleep on a more predictable schedule. The longer this newborn stage lasts, the fewer the children we’ll probably end up having. This part is really hard. Really, it all comes back to sleep, though. If I was getting more sleep, I’d be able to handle shut-in status a bit more easily.

This baby isn’t a very calm sleeper, either. The couple of hours he actually is asleep, he’s grunting and wiggling. It seems like he’s always trying to pass something–gas, burps, poop, spitup. And when he’s not passing something, he’s eating (more like desperately slurping). After every few long drags at the breast, he lets out a satisfying coo–very cute unless it’s 2am and you’re my husband, trying to sleep so you can get up and go to work in the morning. This afternoon, the baby slept for about 3 hours before waking up to eat. If only he’d do that at night!

Soon enough, he’ll have grown into the next stage, and I’ll forget about how hard this was (I’ve already gotten over the labor part–I’m feeling pretty confident I could do that again). I’ll experience different difficulties and will be wishing for the next stage. And then he’ll be grown, we’ll look back and say how wonderful it all was and wish it hadn’t gone by so fast.

For now, I just want some sleep!

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