Archive for June, 2009

4 Weeks Old

I’ve intended on writing for the last two weeks. But with a newborn, plans just don’t always work out. I’ve been able to keep up with the housework at least as well as I did before Reid was born (which really isn’t saying much). It’s embarrasing how little housework I really did (and do). I’m not sure how other moms do it. I suppose I could limit my time on the internet, but that would really only give me an extra hour or two per day, and at night, when I’m tired and can’t imagine getting up to wash dishes, clean toilets, or put toys away. Mornings are best for me to get things done, but if, by some miracle, I’m up before the rest of the family, I have to be quiet so as not to wake them, so I can actually get things done. That means no cleaning the bathrooms–one is in our bedroom, the other is attached to Daniel’s. It means no laundry–our washing machine makes a terrible noise when I turn it on, and our laundry baskets are in our respective bedrooms, where the boys would be sleeping. I could (and often do) empty the dishwasher, reload it, wash dishes, make breakfast, etc. But then with the making of breakfast, comes the eaters of said breakfast, and then the dishes don’t get done because then we’re into the swing of the day.

I have played with the idea of making myself a schedule and sticking to it–at least for a few weeks or months so I can establish a routine and make some of these chores more habitual. I’ve tried Fly Lady several times, but that just gets annoying. I have adopted some of her ideas, though. I especially like setting a timer for 15 minutes and working on a particular project for that 15 minutes. It’s pretty surprising how much one can get done in 15 minutes when the focus is on that particular thing. I bought Marth Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook, which is really more of an encyclopedia. I read Peter Walsh’s “It’s All Too Much”, and reorganized my kitchen last year–getting rid of 4 or 5 boxes of stuff. I intended on going through the rest of my house that way, but it never really happened.

All this is to say that I had a hard time getting things done before children. Now, with two, I feel like I’m getting the same amount of work done (maybe more!!), but it still feels embarrassingly like I just can’t get it together. My messy house is bothersome, but at least it doesn’t consume me. I feel better when things are tidy and clean, but I don’t feel bad when they’re not (except when our very tidy/clean/have-it-all-together friends come over). One of these days I’ll work it out and things will get done more efficiently. And it is happening, slowly–oh, so slowly–but surely.

Reid is not helping matters, either. He’s turned from a quiet contented baby, to a fussy little butt. At our two-week check-up, Reid’s pediatrician warned that usually that beginning calm is just the calm before the storm (of infancy). I chose not to believe him at the time. But I was shortly proven wrong and he right. Reid’s not fussy just to be fussy, it’s true. But he’s very vocal when he’s uncomfortable or doesn’t like something–especially when he’s tired. When he’s tired, he’s quite difficult to console. He rejects the breast, and won’t stand for anything that doesn’t involve him going to sleep. And even then, he usually protests for awhile until he figures out that he can relax and actually go to sleep while being walked, rocked, swayed, patted, etc.

And now he’s woken up–probably needing a clean diaper and some milk, and wanting to go back to sleep. Daddy is keeping him calm for the moment, but I’m needed pretty immediately. And I only just started writing about baby! I guess I’ll have to put that off just a little longer.

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10 Days Old

The poop has calmed down a bit. I have been calling Reid my little pooper and it is still fitting–but thankfully he’s not unloading every other second at night anymore. The EC is going well, too. I don’t know if he’s making any actual associations , but he poops quite often in the toilet or sink and pees fairly consistently there, too. He should start to associate our cue sound with the act of going in the next couple of weeks. I’m really looking forward to that stage.

Tomorrow is Daniel’s 3rd birthday! Dan and I are taking him out for breakfast tomorrow (he loves to go out for breakfast just like his mommy!). Then Dan’s parents are taking him to an indoor playground, then we’re going to The Bahooka for dinner. I’m not sure how I feel about two restaurants in one day with baby Reid in tow, but we’ll see how it goes. We got Daniel a glide bike for his birthday and I am so excited to give it to him. He has a little ride-on car that he rides just like a glide bike–getting a running start, then lifting his feet to glide as far as the momentum will take him. I hope he’ll be able to get the hang of the bike without too much frustration.

We’re throwing him a birthday party in a few weeks. Dan and Sue will be out of town for about a week, then they wanted time to recouperate before the party since they’re throwing it. I just finished designing the invitations this morning and they’ll probably go out in the mail in the next couple days. I’m really looking forward to the party. I just love birthday parties.

When I had Daniel, I remember feeling so overwhelmed with motherhood. I loved it, but I was so exhausted and unmotivated to do anything but sit on the couch and hold/nurse him. My recovery was long, which had something to do with it, but I don’t think I was prepared for how all-encompasing parenthood would be. Now that I’ve been parenting for 3 years, the addition of Reid has been completely different. I adore caring for him–even in my exhaustion in the middle of the night. Whereas I knew I wanted to have more children after Daniel was born, at the time it was just theoretical. Now I wish I could have 5 children, and I mean it concretely. Maybe it’s knowing that Reid might be my last child that makes me cherish him all the more and allows me to fantasize more unrealistically about the future.

On the flip side, thinking about the possibility that Reid is our last child, I’ve allowed myself to imagine a specific family when I think about our lives moving forward. I can put a time-table on my time as the mother of babies, toddlers, pre-schoolers. I can think about what I might do with my time once/if one or both of our children are in school. I can think about projects and games and activites specific to our family size. But even while I am slowly allowing myself to consider a two-child household as a real possibility, it still remains a mystery.

Dan really feels like we should be finished having children. He would have been happy remaining childless. After Daniel, he was happy with just Daniel. And now with Reid, he’s happy with the just the two of them. Of course, he’d be happy to have another child once the child arrived, but the idea of having yet another is really scary to him. Still, it just doesn’t feel right to me to limit our family when it feels like we’ve only just begun. The real conversation about another child can’t really take place yet anyway. Whatever happens, we’re certainly in agreement that a 3-year gap between children is ideal. I probably won’t bring up the possibility of another child with Dan for at least two more years. Who knows what will be going on in our lives at that time. Maybe I won’t want another child then (don’t count on it). And maybe Dan will (ha!).

I have been recovering from Reid’s birth quite rapidly. I’ve felt good enough to do some housework, cook a bit, and go for a walk. However, today I started bleeding again. I must have overdone it this weekend. Today I spent most of the day sitting on the sofa holding and nursing Reid while Daniel played with Sue. My bleeding has slowed down, but it’s still going. I also have passed some bits of tissue. I’m not sure whether or not to be concerned about it. All the resources say to watch for excess bleeding and golf-ball-sized clots–neither of which are happening. But the idea that there are still bits of afterbirth inside me is a bit disconcerting. I’ve left a message with my midwife to call me if I need to worry about it. So far she hasn’t called, and I’m taking that as a good sign given that I have no signs of infection or anything.

Sleeping has been going better. Last night, except for one rough patch, we all slept relatively well. Everyone woke up around 10 AM and all in good moods! Tomorrow, because we’re taking Daniel out for breakfast, we’ll probably need to get up a little sooner than that, so I need to head off to bed. Reid is already sleeping, but I’m sure I can rouse him for some milk with a diaper change.

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