Posts tagged weaning

26 Weeks Pregnant

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel… Daniel has been a challenge lately. I have several theories as to why, but what I really want to know is how to get it under control. He’s been throwing some massive tantrums lately–a couple have been in the middle of the night. So far, they’ve all been about him wanting things done a particular way. One started recently during my assisting him in the bathroom. He fell apart when I unbuttoned his pants before getting to the bathroom. Sometimes, he can’t handle it when I can’t retrieve a piece of food I just ate because he wanted it.

His first real tantrums began around when he weaned. When we were still nursing, offering my breast always calmed him down. A wise friend of mine told me that giving the breast to an upset toddler was like having a reset button. I wish I had that reset button right now. I may get it back…

I’ve been trying to prepare Daniel for when Reid comes and gets to nurse all the time. We’ve been talking about how the milk will be especially for Reid because babies can’t eat food until they get their teeth. Daniel thinks that when my milk comes back, he’ll get to have it, too. It makes sense that he would think that since I told him he couldn’t nurse anymore because there was no more milk. In his mind, it’s obvious that when the milk comes back, he’ll get to have some. I’m open to letting him nurse again… but I’m not sure how I plan to handle it. So far, I’ve just been listening to him talk about it, and have been keeping the conversation neutral.

I’ve also started watching a friend’s 4-month-old baby girl twice a week. Daniel has been handling it so well–better than I could have hoped. He loves baby Lydia, wants to kiss her head, hold her hand, play with her, show her things. And he hasn’t yet asked me to hold him while I’ve been holding her. It helps that Lydia is an extremely content child. She only cries when she’s hungry or tired… so far, anyway. I can only hope that Reid is as calm and content as she is. Caring for Lydia has been a wonderful introduction to parenting two children. I am learning so much about the needs of our family through this experience. Not only am I learning how best to be present with Daniel, but I’m also learning what new/different baby items will be useful this time around.

I’ve also been practicing EC with Lydia. It has been easier than I remember it being. Out of the 5 times I’ve taken her, she’s peed 4 of the times! I wish more parents were aware of just how amazing and possible EC is in any circumstances. I can’t wait to start EC with Reid. I plan to try to start right away–at least within the first month.

Baby Reid has so far preferred to lay in my uterus as if it were a hammock. He’s laying sideways most of the time–often facing my back. He likes to kick my insides, which feels very bizarre. I don’t recall Daniel doing that much at all. Today, though, Reid was facing forward a bit and my belly was dancing around while he kicked. I’m feeling the tiniest bit nervous that he won’t end up in the right position for delivery. Daniel was head-down by this point. I know I have a long way to go still, and I shouldn’t worry, but I am already trying to prepare myself for the slight possibility that I may end up with a stubborn little breech baby.

I was supposed to have my glucose test last week, but my appointment with my midwife was cancelled do to a birth. We haven’t been able to come up with another time that works for us both yet. Until the test, I’m content to eat too much chocolate pudding and peanut butter sandwich cookies. I have been gaining weight pretty rapidly, though, so I’ll probably need to cut back a smidge, at least. I’ve already gained close to 30 pounds. Apparently, a pound a week is the norm at this stage in the pregnancy–but I’m still gaining 2 or 3 pounds most weeks.

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21 Weeks Pregnant

At our ultrasound last week we discovered that we are likely having another boy. I say likely because baby wasn’t terribly interested in showing us the mechanics between his legs. The doctor (who I am actually coming to like) was pretty sure he saw boy parts, but didn’t rule out the possibility of a girl.

Still, we’re proceeding as though this one will be a boy and have finally had the name discussion. I had been pretty concerned about picking a boy’s name because we couldn’t decide how to proceed with using the family names we had been discussing since we first started talking about children years ago. It started to get complicated when both of us had a name to contribute. We didn’t want to pick just one of them–or more accurately, Dan was willing to drop his pick (Merrill–after his grandfather), but I would never have contributed my pick (Charles–after my great-grandfather, and, I found out a few days ago, Dan’s great-grandfather as well!) if he had not said he wanted to use Merrill. Family names have never really been that important to me. Long story short: Dan didn’t want to use 2 middle names, I didn’t want to use Merrill or Charles as a first name, I didn’t want to use Charles if we didn’t use Merrill, so we decided not to use either name.

We did come up with a boy’s name that we both really love: Reid. I read it, or heard it or something, and offered it as a suggestion, and Dan, with great surprise, said he’d been thinking of the possibility of using that name for the last couple weeks. It was the first name I offered (since we sat down to have the most recent discussion), and it was the one that stuck. Daniel his having a difficult time understanding that Reid is not read. Every time I’ve tried to tell him we are going to name the baby Reid, he tells me he is going to read to the baby.

And Daniel insists that we ought to call the baby Atu Beet–the way he used to say Uncle Dave when he was first learning to talk. Daniel had been telling us the baby was going to be a sister, so when we told him the baby was actually going to be a brother, we told him it would be just like Daddy and Uncle Dave. Someone in our family (may have even been me… but it’s been repeated so many times now, I can’t remember the originator) asked Daniel if we should call the baby Atu Beet, and he cracked up and said yes. And now he insists that we ought to call the baby Atu Beet. And we’re certainly not helping matters by laughing and repeating the story so often.

Also at our ultrasound, it was discovered that baby’s placenta is located toward the front of my uterus, which explains why I’ve felt less movement than I expected. The placenta is acting as a barrier to my ability to feel some of the kicks. I’ve really only been able to feel baby kicking below the waistline of my pants due to baby’s placental punching bag, so I haven’t been able to let others try to feel it yet–even though it’s possible to feel baby from the outside. Daniel and Dan have both finally been able to feel baby, though, and that’s what really matters.

We are finally going to throw Daniel his No More Milks party in the next couple of weeks. He’s been completely weaned since before Christmas. He still talks about Mama’s milk, but he hasn’t cried for it for awhile now. I’ve just told him I don’t have milk anymore. He seems comforted enough if I let him touch them–but has never had issue with my telling him not to touch them (in public, say).

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18 Weeks Pregnant

I was really hoping I would feel this baby move earlier and more discernibly. And while I may have felt it earlier, it has been less frequent and with less strength than I remember it being with Daniel. At about 18 weeks with Daniel, Dan was even able to feel it. But we’re no where near that level with this one. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s still very early–even to be feeling movement as I do, which is usually at least once/day–and that every pregnancy is different, but I still find myself worrying that this baby is not moving enough.

We will be having our anatomy scan on January 5–which is where the doctor will, via ultrasound, check to make sure baby has all his/her organs and that they look normal. We will also try to find out baby’s gender. We have a name picked out for a girl–Kate–but are struggling to find a suitable boy’s name. We decided to wait until after the ultrasound to continue the discussion, so we know whether or not it’s even worth trying to figure out. By this time in my pregnancy with Daniel I had a pretty strong feeling that he was a boy, but I’m not having feelings either way with this one.

It seems Daniel is finally completely weaned. I’ve been telling him that the milk is all gone (because it is), and usually he denies it, saying, “Daniel thinks there is milk in there,” but he’s been coming to terms with the fact that the milk is, in fact, virtually gone. When I told him this morning that I would have milk again when the baby comes because the baby will need it, he responded, “Then Daniel can have your milks again!” I’m not opposed to letting him have some at that time if there are jealousy issues or something, but I don’t think it will come to that. He seems pretty ready to have a baby around. Every time he sees a baby these days he adores it. And we have been talking a lot about the kinds of things babies need.

I took Daniel for a walk to the Paseo (an outdoor mall a couple blocks from our house) yesterday. There happened to be a high-school orchestra playing in the main square and Daniel was mesmerized. He sat in my lap for the remainder of their concert (about 15 minutes) completely silent, eyes transfixed. He says he likes the violins best and would like to learn how to play one. At home he just plays the harmonica (he’s not too bad, actually) and the guitar. He loves to listen to Johnny Cash (and recently Social Distortion, too) singing Ring of Fire. Just about every day, he’ll say to me, “Can I have Burnin’ Ring of Fire on?”. And he’ll usually specify which version he’d like to hear. He also loves the Latino Christmas song, Mi Burrito Sabanero, which he calls the Tuki, Tuki song.

Just a few days until Christmas. May the season be full of joy and peace to everyone!

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14 Weeks Pregnant

Big changes have been happening these last two weeks. My belly (and hips!) has grown so much, my clothes don’t fit anymore. I’ve gained 5 pounds just this week! Yesterday, I also noticed that my uterus has finally pushed its way up into my abdomen (instead of sitting inside my pelvis–and resting on my bladder!). When I was going to bed last night, I felt for my uterus, and was shocked to find it much higher and firmer than just a few days ago. I guess I am officially now in the 2nd trimester.

We got to hear the baby’s heartbeat at our last prenatal appointment with our midwife Margo. The baby kept slamming up against the doppler while she was trying to listen. We’d hear the heartbeat for a second, then, SLAM. Heartbeat again, then, SLAM. And every time baby slammed, Margo would say, “Schlump.” After a few shlumps, I started laughing pretty hard, and my movements were making the doppler go crazy, so we had to stop. I couldn’t regain my composure enough to hear anything but the doppler amplifying my shaking belly.

We took Daniel to Disneyland on Saturday. He had so much fun. Much to Dan’s joy, Daniel loved the Tiki Room. He was transfixed watching the show and often talks about the thunder and lightning and rain at the end.

Daniel has grown so tall already. He’s over 3 feet tall! He often gets mistaken for a 3 or 4 year old.

We’ve entered the Why stage already, but the questions so far have been about our actions, rather than about how/why things work. For example, he likes to ask, “Why did you tell me no?” or “Why did you take a shower?”

Daniel goes for long stretches now being able to play by himself. He has a train set that we got him for Christmas last year, that he plays with every day. And if we’re out and there’s a train set in a store (there are several in the area), he’s beside himself.

We’ve almost weaned completely. He gets to nurse first thing in the morning for a few minutes, and again at nap time–but only for one minute. I barely have any milk, so it’s just for comfort and security these days. Now, we’re working to cut out nursing at nap time altogether–probably in the next week or so. But the morning one, I’m not so sure I’ll force. We’ll see how I feel when I get bigger. Right now, he comes to our room between 6:30 and 7:30 and climbs into bed with us. It’s just nice to be able to nurse him while still half asleep. Afterwards, he just lays in our bed resting… sometimes he falls back to sleep, and other times he just puts his arm around me and rubs my neck while I doze for a few more minutes. It really is a beautiful way to wake up. Either when Dan’s alarm goes off, or when Daniel’s had enough lazing around, he announces, “Let’s wake up! Let’s read stories!” Then, after going to the bathroom, we read for a bit and he plays train set, we eat, I shower (often he jumps in, too), and we get going for the day. I’m curious about how things will be when baby comes.

Lucky for me, Daniel still takes a lovely 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day, so I can nap, or rest, or laze around watching TV… because I rarely do any housework during that time! I just hope I can coordinate baby’s nap schedule with Daniel’s (assuming he still naps by then), so I can at least get some alone time.

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2 Years, 4 Months

It’s been awhile! I keep meaning to write, but then I get sidetracked. But Daniel astounded me today, so I wanted to share.

We got up and I went immediately to the bathroom. Daniel went to his room to get a nametag of his, and put it around his neck. Then he told me, “It says 626-792-8251.” That’s our phone number!!! I never taught him our phone number. Dan never taught him our phone number. He’s just heard us say it every now and again–most recently, last night, when we ordered pizza. I only said it one time to the pizza guy on the phone, but somehow it stuck.

I immediately called both sets of grandparents to share the amazing news (and to make Daniel tell them, too). Neither of them had taught him his phone number either. I am just so amazed. Every mom thinks their kid is smart and special and amazing, and I’m no different.

We’re still nursing, but we’re down to 3 times/day–first thing in the morning, just before nap time, and just before bed. I’m not really interested in forcing him to wean, but I wouldn’t be upset if he was ready soon. I’m pretty ambivalent about it. I do love nursing him still. It’s hard not to when he says to me, “Your milks are nice,” or “I love your milks,” every time we sit down to nurse. There are some who have voiced their opinions about it–both positively and negatively. It’s tricky to separate my true feelings from those of others around me.

Daniel is finally sleeping all night long in his own bed. It only took a couple weeks of night-weaning, and he was staying in his own bed later and later. This morning he didn’t come to our bed for milk until about 7 (with an 8pm bed time!).

The trick now, is trying to get him to go to sleep without him needing us to “check” on him 20 times. We’ve found that the earlier we put him to bed, the better it goes, so his bed time has moved up from about 9pm to about 8pm. And even though it only looks like we gain one hour, we actually gain at least 1.5 hours, sometimes 2! With the number of times we needed to check on Daniel when he went to bed later, he was awake most nights until about 10pm. Now that he’s in bed earlier, he’s not cranky tired, so he accepts it when we say good night. It’s strange starting our evening at 8:15, when we’re used to starting it at 10:15! We feel like it’s midnight when it’s really only 10. Now, if only we could get ourselves in bed earlier, too.

I’m really enjoying this stage in Daniel’s life. I feel like I could have had a newborn right now and be able to juggle them both. I’ll remember that for next time (if Dan lets me!).

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19 1/2 Months Old

Oh, how they change.

I was just re-reading my 17-month blog about Daniel and was astounded at how much he’s learned over the last two and a half months!

Daniel is speaking in full sentences sometimes–usually the sentences are just long strings of words, but occasionally, they’re grammatically correct. When he wants to nurse, he says, “More need nilp!” Often, when he’s getting put to bed in his own bed, he’ll request, “Lay down, Mommy’s Daddy’s pidow (pillow)?”

And he has some words that he just insists on saying incorrectly. Water is “watee”, steering wheel is “wa wheel”, car is “ow”, mouth is “nouth”, and milk is still “nilp”. Motorcycle and helicopter are indistinguishable and sound like “atotato”, and at the sound of any siren, he yelps, “Help abody (somebody)!” Tow trucks also, “Help abody.”

Pottying is going so well. We still have accidents, but they’re almost always just little dribbles. The only times Daniel has a real soaker is when I don’t go to him quickly enough after he gets up from his nap.┬áHe’s completely out of diapers now. At about 17 months, I stopped putting him in diapers during the day and about 3 weeks ago, I stopped putting him in diapers at night. He’s still in training pants about 80% of the time, but I recently bought him a few more pairs of real undies.

Sleep is still a bit of an issue. Once the holidays were over, we decided Daniel was old enough to understand when I told him, “No more milk until morning.” After a miraculous two days, Daniel slept ALL NIGHT LONG!!! My punishment was to get a bit of mild mastitis (infected milk ducts) from going so long without nursing. I was sore for several days and had a fever for one night, but it went away without my needing anti-biotics (which I probably wouldn’t have taken unless it was unbearable anyway).

But then we went on our church retreat. And we were back at square one. Tonight is night 4 since returning from the retreat and it seems like tonight will go better than the last three. Judging by how easily Daniel went to bed, the rest of the night will hopefully go smoothly. I’m willing to give this nighttime weaning a full week’s worth of difficult nights before I change my strategy, but with last week’s success, I’m feeling confident that once Daniel realizes we’re not backing down again, he’ll stop crying “More need nilp!” over and over and over again.

I’ll try to remember to post the results in about a week.

Until then, enjoy your sleep! I envy you.

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